Don't worry, I'm used to being criticised on this topic. People don't like the idea that there might be factors rendering pursuit of this as not worthwhile, I find.
I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced rejection + hostility, and of course I've not exactly had fun with this, but I can't rule out what I've seen in terms of my own rejection, and having read about many others' experiences re: height.
Of course all of this is just what happens on average. There are always exceptions to the rule, and in fact I have had girlfriends before, so even for me.
To be honest, that guy sounds quite unpleasant, it's not something I do or would do, though I am very frustrated by the situation.
What's frustrating about height is that it seems to be such a universal requirement for women. It's not just some who are 'shallow', though I wouldn't say it was shallow, rather that it's criteria for feeling physical attraction. I'd say the closest thing for men is weight (though I am emphatically not saying men are innocent, of course we aren't), but that can be changed, even if it's incredibly difficult to do so.
Dating sites are definitely a numbers game/meat market type of thing, but to get absolutely no response whatsoever after so many messages, not even being told to go away, says something I think. If it was fewer, or I'd had even 1 response I'd think differently.
I think the closest thing for women is not weight but age. Older women tend to do really poorly on dating sites. That has been discussed on hn before. As a 47 year old woman who has been alone by choice for some time, this year I finally seem to be getting the hang of deflecting male attention. It makes me wonder if I am merely getting "too old". So I am facing the possibility that if/when I again want a relationship, I might have trouble finding one. However that sort of irony seems to be the norm for my life. The universe seems to have a sense of humor and seems to like making me the butt of the joke. Still, the age discrimination that women face only gets worse over time and then gets compounded by the fact that women tend to live longer than men. So being a lonely old woman, no matter how in demand she once was, is a very real possibility for all women.
Have an upvote and best of luck, whatever you decide.
Oh, another thing. Women not replying doesn't mean they said "hmm, too short". It means that women get absolutely hammered with messages on dating websites. Thousands and thousands of messages. Lots of women just delete stuff more or less at random.
Incidentally, this is an argument for periodically re-messaging people.
I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced rejection + hostility, and of course I've not exactly had fun with this, but I can't rule out what I've seen in terms of my own rejection, and having read about many others' experiences re: height.
Of course all of this is just what happens on average. There are always exceptions to the rule, and in fact I have had girlfriends before, so even for me.
To be honest, that guy sounds quite unpleasant, it's not something I do or would do, though I am very frustrated by the situation.
What's frustrating about height is that it seems to be such a universal requirement for women. It's not just some who are 'shallow', though I wouldn't say it was shallow, rather that it's criteria for feeling physical attraction. I'd say the closest thing for men is weight (though I am emphatically not saying men are innocent, of course we aren't), but that can be changed, even if it's incredibly difficult to do so.
Dating sites are definitely a numbers game/meat market type of thing, but to get absolutely no response whatsoever after so many messages, not even being told to go away, says something I think. If it was fewer, or I'd had even 1 response I'd think differently.
Thanks for commenting, I appreciate your input.