Oh man, 9:30 is my "this is inhumanely early" time. I usually get up around noon. Having kids will either be terrible or super easy, as I can keep the kid until 6 am, while my wife sleeps, and then we can switch shifts.

Blackout curtains, sound machine, sleep training and a bit (ton) of luck. We've somehow gotten ours to stick to reasonable hours.

Once past the newborn phase, babies like to be asleep when its dark and awake when its light.

So you're suggesting some sort of servo-controlled horse blinders, interesting.

Not many HN comments are worthy of a literal “laugh out loud”.

But this one is.

I first read it as "house blinds", then I saw it was "horse blinds" (aka horse blinders). lol

Blinders! Thank you!

Just not too loud, or you'll wake the kid.

As a relatively fresh parent, this thread is a mix of humor, hope and sweet, sweet naivete :).

Congratulations, and my condolences!

You’d earn gazillions of sleep deprived parents opening their deep pockets out of sheer desperation if you’d invented something like that. Maybe your next project?

Yes but I need to make a baby first. BRB.

I have 3 of varying maturity you can borrow.

I'll take you up on it, just remember to give me the operating instructions along with it.

Your article and this whole thread brought so much joy too me. Thanks for giving me a good laugh and making my day better!

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

You need at least two (one for the control group).

Good call! I'll take all three from the sibling poster, just for good measure.

Ah, to be young again!

The most reliable and least annoying alarm clock I ever had was the dog. 5am and it's time for walkies.

Sounds like it's 6 hours off to me.

I mean. I'm pretty sure I've got delayed phase sleep and I don't particularly enjoy waking up that early, but out of everything that'll do the job this one involves the least grumbling and the walk helps me get my brain in gear.

I chuckled at the idea of having children solely for the purpose of waking up early :)

Young kids are very effective alarm clocks. The problem is you can't set the wakeup time.

And as they grow older they stop working, though you can always have another kid I guess.

Not so effective :D They also have time syncronization issues and they are very slow to syncronize to their NTP source (the sun).

It takes them _months_ to sync from boot unless you are very lucky and the "hardware" is only a few hours out of sync at boot time.

Why is this the best explanation of how babies work